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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23434459">Live a Lie</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamel/pseuds/chamel'>chamel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>You Left Me Under Your Spell: A Collection of CaraDin Short Stories [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Mandalorian (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Choices, F/M, Falling In Love, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Flash Fic, Lies, Mandalorian Culture, Short One Shot, True Love</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:21:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23434459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamel/pseuds/chamel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Din struggles with balancing the life he's always known with the one he never knew he wanted.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cara Dune/The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>You Left Me Under Your Spell: A Collection of CaraDin Short Stories [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1680589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Live a Lie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Vibeke/gifts">Lady_Vibeke</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>What's this? A fic not on Sunday??</p>
<p>This one's for Lady_Vibeke, who inspired me to whip out a fic in this format. I don't think mine is quite as beautiful as hers are, but I tried. ;)</p>
<p>Title/Lyrics from "Live a Lie" by the Raconteurs.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>I wanna see you say it to my face</em><br/>
<em>Come on man now cut to the chase</em><br/>
<em>Tell me it doesn't thrill you too</em><br/>
<em>I just wanna lie with you</em><br/>
<em>I just wanna live a lie with you</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They’re on a job when it hits him.</p>
<p>Smacks him.</p>
<p>The feeling practically knocks the breath out of him, and he’s lucky that they’re not in the middle of a shootout.</p>
<p>He realizes belatedly that this feeling didn’t show up out of nowhere.</p>
<p>It’s been more insidious than that, sneaking around and curling its tendrils around his heart for weeks now.</p>
<p>She’s not doing anything special to trigger this realization.</p>
<p>She looks at him with a smile that makes her dimples stand out. Bites her lower lip in that way that would make anyone’s stomach over.</p>
<p>He is powerless.</p>
<p>He’s pretty sure she knows this.</p>
<p>Later that evening on the ship, her hand lingers a little longer on his than is strictly necessary.</p>
<p>She smirks at him like she knows exactly what’s going through his head at the moment.</p>
<p>She doesn’t, though.</p>
<p>He’s pretty sure she’d be scandalized if she did.</p>
<p>She makes him want to live a lie.</p>
<p>This helmet feels like a prison in a way in never has before.</p>
<p>He finds himself wondering what it would feel like to look into another person’s eyes again. To look into <em>her</em> eyes.</p>
<p>Would it feel like a betrayal of everything he is?</p>
<p>Or would it feel more right than anything he’s ever known?</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>When he does take his helmet off for her, it’s in the dark.</p>
<p>Deep down, he feels like a coward. Who needs to skulk around in the dark other than cowards and thieves?</p>
<p>The blackness is so complete that he can’t see an inch in front of his face.</p>
<p>He begins to believe he can see her face in front of his, but he’s imagining things.</p>
<p>Wishing things that could never be true.</p>
<p>The benefit is that the darkness heightens his other senses. Every stroke of her fingertips across his cheek is electric.</p>
<p>“You sure about this?” she whispers, her breath caressing his face.</p>
<p>He’s never been so sure of anything in his life.</p>
<p>One of them closes the gap between them; who it was will forever be a point of contention.</p>
<p>He wants to believe it was him, that he had the courage to take that leap.</p>
<p>He knows it was her.</p>
<p><em>I love you</em>, he wants to say when they come up for air.</p>
<p>But not in the dark.<br/>
<br/>
Not that.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>He wishes she would ask it of him. He wants the excuse.</p>
<p>She would never ask, though. This, he knows unfailingly.</p>
<p>It doesn’t matter, though.</p>
<p>She may not care, but <em>he does</em>.</p>
<p>He’s living a lie no matter what.</p>
<p>He hears his father’s voice in his head.</p>
<p><em>You can never put it back on</em>.</p>
<p>It had seemed so simple, so black and white.</p>
<p>Where had all these shades of gray been?</p>
<p>He’d once seen a man exiled from the tribe, years ago.</p>
<p>“I have lost the Way,” was all he had said.</p>
<p>As a child, he hadn’t understood why. He did now.</p>
<p>He understood how it was possible to love someone so much that keeping any part of yourself from them felt like the graver sin.</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>One day they meet another Mandalorian.</p>
<p>This in and of itself isn’t unusual. The Mandalorian is, though.</p>
<p>She reminds him of a wild animal that some misguided soul tried to tame. Like a peko-peko bridled in Mandalorian armor.</p>
<p>And yet, the bridle had always been hers.</p>
<p>She was born into it, as he had not been.</p>
<p>She challenges his definition of a “lie.”</p>
<p>Challenges his interpretation of the Way.</p>
<p>He doesn’t think she really intends to do this, but it happens anyway.</p>
<p>When they part ways, he feels like something has changed.</p>
<p>Some of her wildness has rubbed off on him.</p>
<p>Deep within him, an idea is slowly blossoming, petals unfurling one by one every time he looks at the woman he loves.</p>
<p>The idea that being true to himself doesn’t have to come at such a dear price.</p>
<p>Maybe he doesn’t have to live a lie after all.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Lol Sabine managed to sneak her way into this one too. Idk I just feel like she has a lot of good advice to give our boy.</p>
<p>I hope you enjoyed this, and would love to hear what you think. Comments absolutely make my day and put a smile on my face.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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